Trashy Nugget.

Ahahahah. Okay. So, I would first like you to read the title of this post aloud. No, go ahead. Really. Maybe read it in a growly, pessimistic voice - quickly. Life is much better now, no? Oh yeah, dude.

So, confession. Back in the day before it got ridiculously unrealistic (I don't mean the part about high schoolers being portrayed by suuuper haaatttt 23 year olds, or the fact that everything is poetic and beautiful..etc, more like the whole people who won't die after four gunshot wounds, or stalkers, etc..) I watched One Tree Hill. Okay? I did. And I loved it. I loved every trashy second of those early four seasons, before things got wonky and crazy and psycho-nanny entered... shudder. Soooo, it may come as no surprise to those who know about said guilty pleasure that I found a quote that kind of speaks to me right now... From One Tree Hill. In my DEFENSE, it is from the best episode there ever was made of this trashy gold nugget of a television show. Hahahahah.. Trashy nugget. Still funny.

I think life can surprise you. I mean, seriously sucker punch you straight up to the face. And you can be so confident, so sure that you know what something is going to be or how you feel about it or how you will feel about it when or if it happens... and you're just wrong. You're just wrong. And here's the thing. It's so okay. It is soooooooo okay to be wrong. It's the best thing there ever is. Heavenly Father really, reaaaally knows what he's doing. And prayers work. I believe that hardcore.

Okay. So this is going somehwere, I swear. I know my ADD just goes and goes there sometimes, but bear with me.

Today, I went to go lay out with my friend up the street. We laid out and had otterpops a plenty, swapping life stories of epic proportions. It got overcast and just started to POUR. And there was not even a single, solitary part of me that wanted to go inside. I just sat out there in my swimsuit in the rain and listened to the thunder, and I felt so happy. Summer rain is a beautiful, glorious thing. We put the blanket over our legs and just tipped our sunburned faces back to recieve it.

I just let my mind wander, and I kind of just had the thought like, hey, if I'm gloriously wrong this much... couldn't other people be wrong? I can't say specifics, but it gave me hope. Really, really far down. And distantly I remembered this quote from Season 4, Episode 9. First and favorite episode I ever saw.

Skills: You said "Oh!"? Hold on. Peyton Sawyer says "I'm in love with you" and you say "Oh"? Nice work player!
Lucas: She caught me by surprise, what was I supposed to say, huh?
Skills: Not "Oh". Ok, what else did you say?
Lucas: I mumbled something about us being friends and then I left.
Skills: You believe that? That you and P. Sawyer are just friends!?
Lucas: Look, you know what Skills? For a long time I thought that maybe we'd be something more. It just never seemed to work out, you know? So, at a certan point you just gotta face the fact that it's not meant to be.
Skills: Even if she wants more?
Lucas: She's just a little confused. She's had a hard year and I happened to be there and rescue her a few times.
Skills: So maybe you're the one who's confused! Cause you didn't just happen to rescue her a few times. You didn't just happen to run into the school that day or save her from psycho-Derek. Peyton happened to be there, but you chose to be there. So, maybe you gotta think about that.

There's just something about that exchange that lifts my heart. What a trashy nugget, I declare. Like maybe I'm not the only one that's confused in life. Maybe everyone is. In a wonderful, wonderful way. And maybe we get these moments, these seconds of clarity that boom like thunder, that rock our world, where we can lift our heads back to the storm, and smile and recieve the rain.