Ranty, Rant, Rant.

Hey friends. Time for another Shelby rant. Woot woot!
A New Years resolution blog is sure to follow. But right now I just have a few things I gotta get off my chest. Cool? Cool.

All right. So I really dislike, I mean absolutely loathe, when people assume things. Really. When you want to know how I feel about something? Ask me! Yeah. Try that one on for size, Johnny Appleseed. I hate when people go through other people. It is so abominably LAME. We are people. God gave us voices for a reason. Good crap. Another thing. I dislike when something is someone else's fault, and they try to put it off on you. And you KNOW its their fault, and you know KNOW what they're trying to do, and it still works. And you still end up feeling bad. I ALWAYS do that.

It also peeves me, puts my panties in a bunch if you will, when people say they want to fix things with you, and then when you make the effort, they don't fully let you off the hook. So you still feel bad. And its like, hey, what was even the point of that?

But most of all, I hate growing apart from people. But it always happens. I can accept that its a part of life, I can accept that people will always leave. I understand that all of our lives people will be entering and exiting, and it happens, and its okay, really. If I'm being honest though, I never expected it to happen so frequently. You meet someone and they change you, for good, and then they're gone. And you think, what was the point? Or maybe, they don't change you for good. Maybe they change you for the worse. But by them leaving, you can learn from that and change for the better. I honestly understand that it has a purpose.

Do you ever just hit a point, though, where all the comings and goings are exhausting? I dont't really know how to phrase this without sounding depressed. Its so strange. I'm not sad. I'm fine. I understand its necessary, and I'm happy with my life. I'm just so... tired. I'm happy. I just feel exhuasted.

I'm just wondering why someone you want to stay, someone you need to stay, can't. Why can't someone just once, just... stay. Maybe I'm being selfish. Its not to say I don't appreciate the time I have with people. I feel so lucky to have known all the people that I have. Its not that I've never had anyone stay. I have some people in my life that have been constants and I am so eternally grateful to them. I love them. I think I love harder than other people though. And I don't want to say its a problem, because I love myself for the way I am and for who I am. But I'm so tired.

I just want someone to stay.