Rasputin.

The bus was in rare form today.

Seriously. I waited in the cold, and exchanged more awkward than normal looks with those waiting nearby, and I had the fine sense that the day was about to take a turn... FOR THE BETTER! You think I'm being sarcastic, but I sincerely am not. It was so delightful.

So, somewheres along the route, Rasputin boarded and plopped down in front of me. Only it was his slightly more terrifying, and intensely dirtier half-brother. Never before have such greasy locks pinned my hand as I brushed by. Seriously, it was like being stuck in mud. The best part is, that he didn't notice.

Later, the bus driver announced that all the Sandhill Road stops were closed, and that we'd be going straight to UVU from this point on all week. Most of us said, "Thanks for telling us" (although, honestly, if we're already on the bus, it doesn't affect our life at all.) and went back to bussing. Well, some gentleman in the back decided to pretty much declare himself deputy of do-goodery. "THERE ARE SO MANY STOPS ON THAT ROAD!" he cried, impassioned. Everyone around him quickly remembered something they'd forgotten in their bags, or on their shoe. He kept yelling with such fervor that I was sure he'd pull a gun.

So you can imagine my lack of surprise when he stood up, and strode down the middle of the bus and up to the driver, to confront him. AFTER ALL, COULDN'T HE REOPEN THE ROAD? THINK OF ALL THOSE PEOPLE! The bus driver told him he'd get him as close as he could if that was his stop. The man suddenly dropped his mental savagery (something I can only imagine rivaled Ted Bundy) and smiled. "Oh, no," he said, "I don't need that stop. I'm goin' to UVU." Of course you are.

He strides on back, smiling at all of us. You're welcome, his glittering eyes say. Also, I may still kill you all, they add subtly. Oh. I guess I should mention he looked just like Rumpelstiltskin, or Mr. Gold, on Once Upon A Time. Go ahead, Google that crap. Only he was like... a Western version?

Once the man took his seat, Rasputin's brother decided to look back and see what all the fuss was about. He has those glasses, you know, that get dark when you go outside. Well. Somehow, on our forty minute bus ride, they haven't lightened up again. So he's craning back over his shoulder farthest away from the man, to get a look at him. Or get a look at me. His eyes kept rolling in such crazy ways that I legitimately cannot be sure just where he was trying to aim those suckers. They were literally just DANCIN' around in his head behind his half-shades/half-glasses. I cannot even fathom moving my eyeballs in such a manner. But. I'd like to learn.

A hush fell over the bus, because awkward thrives on UTA like aquatic hitchhikers on an uncleaned boat. (Oh, I'm sorry... it's been three years and those billboards are still hilarious if read in the proper voice. So.)

Well, there's a brave lad up front who seems to know the kid next to him, though they've sat in silence the majority of the ride.

"So," he says, "How's your girlfriend?"

"Pregnant."

The whole bus seems to shudder. We wait.

He's... not kidding. :/ Or happy.

Finally, feeling like we've all survived some sort of uncomfortable, near-death experience that inexplicably bonded us/made us all never want to meet again, we reach UVU. Rumpelstiltskin is the first to hop off. "THANKS BUS DRIVER!" he says, giving him a salute. When the bus driver makes no answer, the man answers himself. "OH, YOU'RE WELCOME, YOU'RE A PLEASURE TO DRIVE!"

I speed walk off into the distance, and try to find my first class, which incidentally is located at Platform 9 3/4 based on visibility from a map, or locatability. Just made that a word. Muggle moments, am I right, people?

My theatre teacher is a man. I don't know why I feel so awkward about that, but I kinda do. I figured out I've only ever taken art from a woman. I don't think I have man issues, but hey, I don't know. Plus it's like... part of me wanted to walk in and see Andra. Or someone from my class. OKAY ALL OF ME. Shut up. There were a couple kids who thought they were God's gift to awesome. And I'm sure they are very talented. I thought about setting them on fire a couple times. It's whatever. (I'm kidddding!) Just mostly... I don't like when people go on, and onnnn, and discount the abilities of others.

My English teacher reminds me of my Great Uncle Wallace. If my Great Uncle Wallace were determined to fail our every paper to help us learn. But I mean, hey. At least he gave us a heads up. I can respect that.

The day ended with a large, bearded man in a trench-coat, yelling across campus in a voice that caused glaciers to fall, "Heeeeeey, you little SHITS!" Then he howled like a wolf.

(MOM, I'm quoting. I would NEVER yell that across campus.)

Anyway. It was a colorful day around town, people. A colorful day. This semester's gonna be a funny one. :) Hahaha.