I have no resolutions.

Oh hey. So, the thing is, 2011 proved to be immensely good to me. Sometimes it tried to kick my butt. I like to think that I kicked back, and I've come out of it a pretty happy gal. Which is the main goal of life, chyes? Um. The title of this post is actually a line from a Death Cab song that I like. I do indeed have some goals. Here's what they are:

1. Be positive.

2. Create and breathe.

3. Get stronger.

4. Get to know my Savior better.

5. Serve.

Here's loosely how I'm going to define them:

Be positive. I mean, this one kind of speaks for itself, doesn't it? But I think keeping an eternal perspective, trusting life and my Heavenly Father, and standing in other peoples' shoes goes along with this. Also, smiling. I just like to smile. Smiling's my favorite.

Create and breathe. I have this really bad anxiety now that I'm in college, like what the crap am I even doing?? Nothing worthwhile. Or, that's how it feels. I just want to make something. I had a really good talk with one of my dearest friends about how I feel lost because I'm not making something. She directed me to Elder Uchtdorf's words from the talk, "Happiness, Your Heritage." Dude. It was incredible. You can watch the part that touched me the most by clicking HERE. I found a lot of comfort in the fact that the yearnings I feel, the lack of total satisfaction, is what I should feel until I find what it is I need to create, and what create needs to mean for me. I should yearn for it. That's what reassures me of my heritage from my Father in Heaven.

I feel a little spoiled at times because all throughout high school, I got to be a part of theatre. I know everyone thinks theatre kids are weird, and they are. Hi. But, everyday, I got to be part of something amazing. We were literally taking unorganized matter, as our Father does, and turning it into something of substance, and beauty. We got to share that with others so that they could feel inspired, the way we had. I never, ever felt closer to Heavenly Father than that moment right before I walked onstage, bowing my head and getting ready to give a performance, knowing that anything I could do was because of Him.

Well. I don't do theatre now, and so I kind of flounder. Like, oh, I made this rockin' PB & J today...? Oh, nope. Not gonna fill that void for me. I need to create. And I need to find what that means for me.

Here's where the breathe part comes in. I need to relax, and trust. And be okay with the fact that I do not have all the answers right now. I can be really hard on myself and my efforts. I need to breathe. Because only when I trust, can I create.

Get stronger. I don't want to get skinny. I'm already lanky as crap. I don't wanna be the BFG (Big Friendly Giant? Anyone?) loping around. I want to be stronger. My family is doing something kinda cool, and I am a part of that. Gettin' fit in 2012. You can read about it HERE.

Get to know my Savior better. I am going to read Jesus the Christ. I know, right? I hear it's a doozie, but. Worth it. I'm also going to work on morning prayer, and making sure my prayer is more meaningful. Also, temple, at LEAST once a month.

Serve. I'm going to do something for someone else every day. I did this all first semester of college, and it makes my day so much better. Without fail.

2012 is gonna be so flipping great. I'm going to make sure. That way, if the Mayans are right, (I tend to think they just got tired of carving so many years in the future. I mean, come on.) I can head out feeling good about life.

Happy New Year! I like you. Yes, you. Wherever you may be.