Hear Him.

Well, I have much to account for, given that I have been gone for many, many days.

I have to blog about Youth Conference. But, I have to do the spiritual part justice. So, I'm just gonna write that all out quick, and then a humorous one about Youth Conference will follow. Because trust me, they were chucking out material. Anyway, back to the serious. Ahem.

The whole time, they kept doing these reenactments. They acted out the scripture stories we'd read so many times, and after I got into the right mindset, I really liked it. We were put into tribes with people from other wards. I was super freaked out, but its amazing how close you can get with people and how many new friends you can make if you keep an open mind.

The thing that sticks out the most was the last reenactment. We were just chilling around our ward campsite when our leaders started going around blindfolding us. I'm thinking, okay, this is a weird game. But then they had us put our hands on the shoulders of the person in front of us, and we made this blindfolded snake train up through camp. They had some speakers rigged up and there were awful noises coming out. There were bloodcurdling screams and crashing noises, the sound of flames and of scared people. The blindfold wasn't see through, but it wasn't all the way dark either. For me, that was scarier than walking in darkness. I think that's really symbolic, for me at least. Its a lot scarier to toe the line and walk in uncertainty than to walk in complete darkness. I shut my eyes at one point because, yes, I knew it was fake, but I was scared.

They got us up to this tarp and it was eery silent. Our leaders helped us sit down, and we just sat like that with blindfolds on for a really long time. No one spoke. There were scattered whispers here and there, but nothing much. Then, there was this deep voice, booming all around. It said, "This is my beloved Son. Hear him." Then it was silent. The voice came again twice, with long stretches between, becoming more emphatic. Then the voice instructed us to come out of the darkness. So we all took off our blindfolds and looked around. The whole stake was sitting there in the darkness, inches away from each other, but we all kept quiet. Our eyes were on the Mayan-looking temple lit up. And then, Jesus walked out.

Okay, so it was an actor. But he gave this amazing monologue and didn't even mess up, and he just acted exactly how you know the Savior would be in person. His voice was perfect, his facial expressions, everything. I could not stop crying. And I actually listened. I was listening so hard, I didn't want to miss anything this man had to say.

When he finally turned around and left, it was the worst feeling you can possibly imagine. I was so panicked. It was like being under the blindfold again, not all the way in darkness, but without the light. And even though it was just an actor, I just had overwhelming love for this figure. And as he walked away, all I could think was that I wanted him to come back.

Back around the ward campsite, we had testimony meeting. Seminary has made me a lot more open to the spirit and sharing my testimony, so I stood and shared what I know.

I have a simple testimony. It's not some huge burning-bush-and-angels thing. Its just the knowledge that Christ is my Savior, and that He knows me. He hears me when I pray, and no matter where I walk, I never walk alone. I'm so grateful for that. I'm grateful for His atonement, so that I can be forgiven for mistakes I make, because I am nowhere near perfect. I am grateful for His ressurection because it means I can see people I love again after this life. I'm grateful that this life is not the end. I am grateful that He had the mercy to die for me, but what is so important to me, is that He lives for me.