Oh.. You're Skinny.

Ahahhah.
Yeah, its like weeks later. And I'm still catching up on a boat-load (butt-load?) of shtuffs. But humorous Youth Conference... Oh boy, here we go!

We got there, and I gotta tell you, I had the wrong attitude. It was hot, and I was dressed in my fabulous tribal wear (thanks mom!) and geared with everything you can imagine I might need. It was hot outside, and then, at first, all I could see in the reenactments was how crappy the voice-overs matched the people trying to mouth their prerecorded, long forgotton monologues. Or the people who just got onstage and giggled and waved to people, not even attempting to make it convincing. Total disgrace to the art of theater. Ohhhh. But wait. I was also distracted by the fact that that Matt Hadley kid made a super great Joseph Smith. And I'm super creepy and weirdly attracted to his voice. And just think he's an attractive young man in general, I don't know.

I was suuuuuper freaked out when we first went to go find our tribes full of STRANGERS which we would then spend the rest of our hot, sweaty, tribey days with. But I actually really liked my tribe. I find I often like strangers a lot better than people I know. We were an interesting mesh, but we just sort of clicked. We were just the best kind of family ever. Here's just a few of my favorite quotes of the week from my tribe:
"Hot, juicy BURGER!!"
"Mm. Chad."
"You're.. You're a.. Lamanite?"
"Come over here and fight me like a man."
"I'm gunna go git muh hurr did!"
"I think I left my ir'n on."
"Dude. The Swedish fish are moving."
"My dad made me wear it. Said it made me look more tribal."
"I'm not even going to attempt to eat whatever is on this sandwich."
"GET YOUR FOOT OFF MY CHAIIIIIIRRRRR!"
"Hey, Chad. Your girlfriend wants you."
"Flour in my face."
"The flour is congealing with my sweat to create some sort of paste. And I don't like it."
"Dude, just go in the woods."
"Humu-humu-nupu-nupu-apu-aa!" "...Nnn..yeuhh...Fish."
"Wow. I have.. never heard a girl say that."

And so many more, but it was a while ago, and I can't remember all of them, sadly enough. But there were highlights. I must rant though. I was suuuuuper annoyed with a lot of the girls there. I was told many a time that week that I was more boy than girl, so perhaps that's why. But seriously. These girls kept skipping activities to shower a couple times a day because it was dusty. And fixing their makeup every five seconds and curling their hair. Here's a little fun fact, I don't even curl my hair regularly. How 'bout that? And they just kept crying and complaining. And I just kept thinking, yeah this camp would be miserable if you cried all the time. So buck up. Yeah, its a coed camp. So freaking what?

Ah. I am so frustrated by people like that. I showered once, and it was only cause I went with people who were scared to use the boys showers (which were ours in addition to the girls showers after ten PM). I did not, however, straighten my hair or make any effort at attractiveness. If anything, I played it down, to the point where I did not use the bathroom once until the last day when I got sick and threw up. That's right. I indulged my odd love of peeing in the woods. Numorous times. Stole a roll of T.P the first night and I was good to go. Judge me. My hair was at all times in a greasy, wavy bun thing on top of my head. I was mostly in the company of boys, as they seemed to recognize and adopt me as one of their own.

Water day was actually quite a delightsome time for me. We had a flour fight for battle that day, instead of using the foam swords and shields we had come to know and love. (I was right, by the way. I can inflict serious woundage and take out many a righteous Nephite.) It got all down in my shirt, and all in my hair and eyes and whatnot. Then I got sweaty. And it got bad, dude. Sweat and flour was pretty much making a dough all over my body. So when our tribal leaders sent us to go change out of our tribal wear into our water clothing, me and another girl from my group asked special permission to hit the showers. Not an aesthetic thing, but a piece of mind thing, because the loaf rising in my sports bra wasn't really ideal. Plus, the first activity was going to be water volleyball. And let's be clear. I would way rather stab the crap out of someone with an offending shield color than wack a volleyball around.

Being the hardcore little animal that I am, I didn't shave or wash my hair or anything. Just soaped the flour out all my nooks and crannies and got outta there, because turns out the rest of the girls were back, to fix their curls and touch up their makeup and whatnot. Ugh. So I got out of there pretty quick and went back to my cabin to put on my water attire. Which isn't saying much since girls weren't allowed to bring shorts. I had brought my navy scoopneck for my dark shirt, considering that since I live out of my t-shirt drawer, all my dark t-shirts were dirty. So it was actually fitted, but hey, atleast I wouldn't have the whole wet t-shirt contest thing going down. You know. And I just threw on some gray sweatpants.

When me and the other girl got back to our tribe, they were shocked. There were cries of dismay and amazement as all my tribal brothers looked at me as though I had just grown a mustache. (I wish.) Then, the kid I'd been hanging out with the most was all, "Ohhhh.. You're skinny!" Ahahahah. So all this time, they thought they'd been humoring some vulgar, tomboyish fat girl. Let me explain, because its an understandable error. The first night, I got a perfect ring of mosquito bites around each ankle, giving me larger than life cankles. Mm. I know right? Plus, I was in my roomy tribal wear. Also, they had eaten with me everyday, and my eating habits are definitely not that of a young woman watching her waistline.

Highlight of the day was this kid, who okay, I'm not going to name, but lets just say I've had a teeny crush on him since, oh I don't know the seventh grade, told me I looked good. We totally chatted it up and laughed and flirted and I was like... You, you senior with your tan skin and gorgeous brown eyes and five o' clock shadow... Mother, may I! Ahahah. Someday, when he asks for my sweet hand in marriage, I'll invite you guys. Anyway, it was just funny to me, because all the girls who had their hair all curled, had makeup on, and had worn shorts despite the rules, looked super miffed. And I thought, isn't that just life? Isn't that just the way boys are? Honestly. The second you stop caring, they're all for it, and all, "Look at that girl, and how she doesn't care. Mm. I'ma get to know her." And literally, the second you START caring again, you become just like everyone else. And they're all, "I gotta go.. I'll talk to you later." But actually, here's a little secret. They probably won't.

I don't know. It was a super good, super fun experience. I'm so glad I went. I will admit, there were times I would just sit back and laugh a little, because well, camps like these are kind of why people think Mormons are weird. But then, I'd get right back in on that sweet action. Because normalcy isn't at the top of my list. I just miss it, if I'm going to be completely honest. If I hadn't gotten sick on the last day, I could have stayed for weeks.

I miss peeing in the wilderness, and waking Riley up in the middle of the night to watch for wild animals while I went outside our cabin, then doing the same for her. I miss making creepy advances on people in my group because I knew how unnattractive I looked. I miss the cold river and the baby leeches, the rope swing, and my contemplation log. I miss stupid voices and staying up all night talking to all the girls in the cabin about ridiculously cliche topics. I just miss the way it felt up there.

I'm gonna live in the woods forever someday. Go up in the mountains and start me a nudist colony. Yeah. That's just what I'll do.