I got a course catalog and checked all the credits I need to graduate from my program and guys... It's really weird. I feel so old! But also, I feel like my mom bought me an adorable UVU baseball T-shirt that gives me thought, "don't mind if I do" every time I look at it? It's like it speaks to me! I don't know. After, we stopped for a lovely lunch at Zupa's. Cody came and met my parents and I for some eatin'. My only complaints here? Why the freak was it so crowded? And WHY the fetch was the guy at the counter rushing me so bad? I like stumbled over my words just trying to please him because of the mere air he gave off. "CALIFORNIA TURKEY!!!!!!" I cried, trying to push the words past his dominating existence... Just. Give me a sandwich. PLEASE. And you know what? Later in the line, someone else who allowed me to speak more slowly did give me a sandwich. And it was real good. No thanks to Speedy McGee! He was standing there spinning who-knows-what in his hassle-y hands while everyone else danced around him and did the work, and he just. Made so many demands! No thank you, Mr. No thank you.
After Zupa's, I parted paths with my parents for a bit and went to Costco with Cody. He was making prints of some paintings he did of Flight of the Conchords. I don't want to brag or anything, but maybe we've talked about the fact that everyone I know poops sheer brilliance? So yes. My friends are all incredibly talented. Obviously, he's no exception. He's SO talented, and the prints turned out to be WAY sick. So, I guess what I'm getting at is... seriously. If you like Flight of the Conchords. Get one. Just sayin'. Also, here's a random fact about me. Whenever I'm in public, I like to find the nearest child and just creep on them the remainder of my time in that place. And here's the thing about Provo. A LOT of people are reproducing. Poppin' those babies out left and right! So I guess what they say is right. You can flirt it up in Provo. Probably they didn't intend that for children under four, but I DID, okay? I love children. :/
Then, we went to Cody's apartment and were kind of assaulted by his roommates. Just a little. Just one... This is mostly funny because he has this roommate named Spencer who gives me the willies. Okay, DISCLAIMER. He really is a nice kid! He is. But... he just is so weird it's delightful.
I just giggle when I'm around him. But not as much as he does! His laugh is like... the tinkling of seashells on the beach if a miniature hyena lived inside each of them and giggled every time a wave rolled in. And, he has a muffin top. And you know, a lot of great people do. Given the day and the pair of jeans, I'm definitely not innocent of that body-crime myself.... But I mean. He lotions his muffin-topper. A lot. With his jeans still on and his shirt... not on. (Don't worry about why I know.) And. I think the clincher for me is a combination of his voice/eyebrows/response to people talking. His eyebrows... well. I can't describe them any better than the fact that it's like someone drew him and then forgot to color them in. They're just the outline of hairs with nothing inside. I... I drew a descriptive picture on Paint to illustrate the point. Only because putting a real photo on here is just.... it might be a little too hurtful. I have boundaries. Very stretchy, flexible boundaries, but boundaries nonetheless. SO. Enjoy this picture. I only took like. 30 seconds to create this on paint. TRY NOT TO COMPARE YOUR OWN ABILITIES. You'll just walk away sad...
So. Yeah. Just know that that is like... photograph-style quality you're looking at. And he just... laughs all the time. And he has such a high voice that my dad may or may not have asked me multiple times when video chatting with Cody why there was a girl in Cody's room, and isn't that against the Honor Code? Yes, dad. Yes, it is. Anyway, he's nice in the sense that he means well and is good-natured, it's just. Well. In my mind it's delightful to talk to him... but that could be because he takes a good 20-30 second response time to soak up whatever you just said. And he just SMILES at you and giggles during said 20-30 second down-time. And then he responds and his response ALMOST lines up with what you were saying... but just not quite. I like him, is the moral of the story. Probably going to get married. Whatev! I may or may not have called him and left him a creepy voicemail onceposing as a girl in college Physics class. I had a speech impediment and I was HOT. I asked him on a date to The Creamery and he stood me right up! :(
So what were my cute parents doing while I was visiting my eyebrow-less lover THPENTHER? :) They were turning in my lease. Yes. I have an apartment! I have real roommates and things. I Facebook creeped on ALL of them. Don't even worry. We'll talk about them soon.
After checking in with my parents for a bit, I went with Cody to his intramural game. We got there late and so he had to run in and I had to find my way to the upper balcony to watch by myself. At first I was like, WOOF. And then I realized. I'm unmarried. And I'm at BYU. Let's use this, eh! So some kid was walking by and I caught his eye and had him walk me in the right direction. WHAT?! It was a well-lit hallway and I needed some help. Is that so wrong? I didn't want to date him, I just wanted to use him! It's FINE. We couldn't have even gotten engaged because I'm too busy loving the space where Spencer's eyebrows should be... You know? It takes a lot of time. So. Yes. Intramurals are fun! This is my second time coming to one of the games (I'm a real supportive friend... not. Eh. I feel bad!) only last time, it was intramural football. I enjoy it! Their team played well!
I enjoyed that... but you know what else I enjoyed? The last few minutes of the second half, I enjoyed recieving horrifying text messages from my sister Tori, who was getting a pedicure and was in the company of a man getting a manicure and looking for a happy ending. It's exactly what it sounds like. I was DYING. Apparently he spoke all the different dialects to all the ladies and kept creepy joking and making ... noises. So I guess what we're saying is he's got to be a pimp... just. Got to be. He KNOWS Chinatown. In the biblical sense.
And now, here comes the most delightful part. After a dinner of grocery store goods - strawberries, french bread, cheese, bananas, COLD, good water - and despite the ridiculously bad April weather, I got to swim. Yes, it was a hotel pool. Beg pardon... a MOTEL pool. There's a difference, I assure you. Now, the Super 8 and I are not strangers. I've been here once before, at the beginning of the school year. I came and saw Tuesdays With Morrie at BYU. And here's the deal. It was fetching amazing, first of all. Cried my sweet, soggy eyes out! So there was that part of it. But then, when my friend Riley and I came back for a dip in the morning at the 24-hour pool, we were enchanted by all the weird smells/stains inhabiting the indoor "spa" area. And a continental breakfast! Aahhhh, yeah! There were a lot of Tongan soccer-player girls hogging the waffle-machine, though. And. I'm not a fighter. If wasn't so patient, I might have had to go waffle-less! But we all know I wouldn't let that happen. I'd wait out the apocolypse for good breakfast food.
Another fun part of that particular trip happened right here:
Do you see that chain attached to the pole in front of the flower bed? No? Oh, good. I didn't either... And I might have been sprinting around the parking lot like a pyscho at like one in the morning. So... naturally, it clipped my shin and brought me in all my hyped-up, late-night, post-crying-rush glory crashing right down. Hahahaha, honestly, it was the funniest thing that ever happened to me. My knee was cut through my pants, the tie on my shirt broke (it was an absolute shame to have it out of commission that long... cause everyone loves a food-baby maternity tie-shirt.), I couldn't straighten my hip, my arm was shaved of skin, my fingers all have scars from their cuts, and. OH! My chin broke the fall... so. Much to my mother's dismay, I had a huuuuge bloody mass on my chin. It shrunk in time for Homecoming and I covered it okay, but. She was still not that pleased. I thought it was hilarious! I'm just a psycho. It's bound to happen sometime. I mean, everyone has fallen over a chain in a sketchy parking lot in the wee hours of the morning because they were sprinting for fun, right? ... Right? ??
Crickets.
So, although there were no chain-incidents this time, there was still a lot of fun. And I know I promised, but alas, there are no pictures. I'm SORRY! I had my camera, I just left it in my bag. But you listen here. I had a real good time creeping around the pool. Lots of families came in, and we've already discussed that I love children. Mmm, mm. KIDDING. Just in a friend way! I was freezing at first, and a little miffed that the hot-tub was being chemically cleaned, but all that was quickly alleviated by the fact that every single cautionary sign on the wall related to poo somehow. Hahahah. Poop. It's funny! I'm going to college, all right. Poop will always be funny. Basically, if you poop at all... stay out of the pool. And also, if you have hair that isn't butt-short, you're apparently required to wear a bathing cap. Just picturing myself in a bathing cap was laughable enough, but. Out of curiousity and spare time... I decided to make this little beauty, just for future reference:
I don't know why I love poorly doctored photos. But I really do. Give it a gander. And GET EXCITED FOR A SUMMER WITH ME!
Sooo, anyway. Moral of the story is, it was a wonderful end to Spring Break. I feel so good about where I'm living, where I'm going to school, everything. It's all just good. And. In case you were thinking this trip was ENTIRELY mishap free, rest assured... It was not. After the pool, I was sitting with my parents watching t.v. when the craving struck for more cheese. It's just good, all right! So, a run to the car had to be made. Let's just get it out there right now that I don't wear cutesy swim cover-up nonsense. I borrow my dad's t-shirts, because they seem to hang like a dress on my 12-year-old-lad frame pretty nicely. Well, since my t-shirt was damp over my soaking swimsuit, I had to grab my gray trench-coat. It's an adorable coat, don't get me wrong. It just looks like I'm real member of Provo society when I wear it without PANTS underneath.
...I LOOKED LIKE A FLASHER, all right. So after some creep stances/dance moves in the hall, I headed out to the car. Maybe some old people were coming in, and instead of focusing on my kind smile and friendly greeting, they just looked horrified. I watched them go.. and I wondered why they'd looked so nervous. Then I looked down and realized. Oh yeah! I'm a flasher. People wear coats to mid-thigh with sneakers and no pants all the time! I wasn't going to mug them or try to "sell them watches" or anything. I swear! Hahahah. Oh, but how I loved the feel of the flash-capabilities...
Hahahahaha. And guys. Some of you have been all embarassed about giving me your emails so you can follow, because you made them at a... less mature age. Let me put your mind at ease and admit that my original email address on this account contained the phrase "ballifbabe" and some numbers pertaining to a particular lad's jersey in junior high. Hahahaha. Yes. I was Ballifbabe. I spent sooo many hours adding boys on MSN Messenger! (JUST IN A FRIEND WAY!!! - desperate voice crack) I thought I was HOT okay?! I made it in seventh grade and I was just so thrilled to wear jeans that weren't too much of a flood-type-deal and that I had contacts and not glasses. I was a BABE. Anyway. Just... look at the picture above, picture me in Provo Friday, and. Know that you're welcome to the blog. I'm happy to have you. :)
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