This Is What High School With Me Was Like.

CAUTION: If you are easily offended, or have not already embraced that although I am fully religious and a generally wholesome person deep down, I am HIGHLY inappropriate, do not read on.

That being said, today as I was cleaning my room, I found many an offensive doodle, but this list was perhaps my favorite.

Keep in mind that I love this teacher, although she was legitimately CRAZY and very hard to take a class from with all the weird assignments she was throwing at me. It was so hard not to blog her every move. Luckily, my busy life kept me from doing so.

So one day in class, after spending three hours with the woman, she was telling us to be prepared when we want something, with a list of reasons why, so we're not just fumbling. It's easier to say no to someone who is unprepared and unmotivated and unorganized. This is a truth she taught me. However, in her example story, she told of asking for a piece of technology from the district, despite it being ridiculously expensive and possibly frivilous.

So, in my boredom, I began to wonder what she'd put on the list.

I wrote the first reason I would guess, based on her daily overshare dialogue, and I passed it to my friend - who has lived down the street from me the past ten years. She knows me. She didn't question. She simply supplied the next reason. This went on, until her reason number eight made me laugh so hard with its accuracy that it just had to stop.

You probably have no idea what we're talking about, but trust me. If you had ever encountered this woman, you would love this right now.

Reason #1: To receive racy videos from my husband. . . =D

#2: So I can pretend to not receive students' assignments, wherever I am. . .

#3: To more quickly BLOCK ___ ______ from my personal life.

(I wrote a student who shall remain nameless, but essentially STALKED said teacher in so many ways that it was not okay, not even for kissing up for a good grade, and also... commented on literally EVERYTHING ever said. I wish I was exaggerating.)

#4: To search and effectively learn how American sayings are actually said.

(Riley wrote this after one of many incidents like this - she told us we were looking at her like "deer with headlights." Nope. That's not even... especially at my house. Headlights means RT. Sorry. I had to say it. Mom. You KNOW you're laughing.)

#5: To wig shop anonymously.

(I don't even want to explain this one, but it correlates with both numbers 1 and 8. :/ Awful. Scarred. For. Life. Hahahah. So wonderful.)

#6: To get rid of the voices in my head.

#7: To figure out still more pointless/irrelevent metaphors/sexist comments I'll direct at myself.

(Oh yes. She did. And it drove me crazy. No, no. YOU are a woman. Stop. Do you know what you're saying?)

#8: To find even more creative ways to tie my sex life in with my lessons.

....

And that's where I lost it. My friend had just hit it right on the head, the most awkward/awesome part of that class we'd been dancing around.

Like I said. Loved the class, loved the woman, looks great on a resume... but holy crap. So lucky I'm still functioning okay after some of the educators I had in my twelve years of public schooling. It makes me grateful for people who are occasionally scary or inappropriate, but in all the right ways - like my daddy or Andra.

Anyway... Just know that lists like that were how I made it through high school. Also, I once made an album called, "SENIORITUS" A chronic condition." And it was kind of awesome. It made me happy. :) There will be more years of school, more crazy professors, and still more albums to be made. But. This list was worth mentioning.

Also, why that picture? I don't know, friends. It came up when I googled "wig shop anonymously." So. Also, it could be an accurate depiction of what high school with me was like. Have a nice day. This is what high school with me was like. I can only imagine college, when I shall have my actual laptop in class with me. What gems will then emerge? Only time will tell.