Day Twenty Three: You Cannot Wrestle a Dove.

Today started out really good, and I think it's still good. There were definite nice points. But I just got some news that suuuper sucked. But hey, mystery solved, right.. Okay, I know you honestly have no idea as to what I'm talking about, and I'm sorry, but I'm really not up for explaining this one on the world wide interweb. Even in nonspecific, rant-type story form. Sorry. This one is too soon.

My Advanced Theater audition was last night. I was so nervous. But I got there, and the boys helping were making me laugh, and I just felt okay. I needed to not take myself so seriously. So I went in there, I auditioned, and I did it! I don't know if I'll get a callback, but honestly, that's not what matters to me right now. I went in there, and I gave what I wanted to give, and that was enough for me. I am happy with it. If I get a callback, I will cry of joy. And if not? I might cry a little.. not of joy, but you know what? Even then I will be okay. Life is big and beautiful and getting something or not getting it is not the end of it.

I find out first thing in the morning if I got a callback.

I guess if I can't really tell you what's making me a little sad, I can tell you this, and maybe you will understand. It's been a Shins kind of day, specifically, Gone For Good.

I have this song on eternal repeat while I do my homework tonight. It's just needed right now. Enjoy! It's beautiful. I highly suggest you hit it up on YouTube.

"Untie me, I've said no vows
The train is getting way too loud
I gotta leave here my girl
Get on with my lonely life

Just leave the ring on the rail
For the wheels to nullify

Until this turn in my head
I let you stay and you paid no rent
I spent twelve long months on the lam

That's enough sitting on the fence
For the fear of breaking dams

I find a fatal flaw
In the logic of love
And go out of my head

You love a sinking stone
That'll never elope
So get used to the lonesome
Girl, you must atone some
Don't leave me no phone number there

It took me all of a year
To put the poison pill to your ear
But now I stand on honest ground, on honest ground

You want to fight for this love
But honey you cannot wrestle a dove
So baby it's clear

You want to jump and dance
But you sat on your hands
And lost your only chance

Go back to your hometown
Get your feet on the ground
And stop floating around

I find a fatal flaw
In the logic of love
And go out of my head

You love a sinking stone
That'll never elope
So get used to used to the lonesome
Girl, you must atone some
Don't leave me no phone number there"

It's not even a sad song, to me. It's just... Okay. Like,you're a little sad, but you'll be okay. It's a hands-in-the-pockets, half smile, walking along song. And that's how I feel right now.

It's acceptance :)